Fallen Petals
by A Twisted Vine
Summary: [Sess x Rin] The story of Sesshoumaru and Rin as she becomes more than the grinning humanchild intent to follow him, and carves as a water to rock a place of her own. Jaken and Ah Uhn can come too.


**Disclaimer:** I do not own InuYasha or characters found in the series.

**Fallen Petals **

**by**

_**A Twisted Vine**_

_I don't want the world to see me  
Cause I don't think that they'd understand  
When everything's made to be broken  
I just want you to know who I am_

- "**Iris" Goo Goo Dolls

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**i. when the breathing begins

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She patted the hem of her sleeve down, before swinging her right arm in a wide arc above her head. The trailing sleeve of her kimono seemed to shimmer in the sunlight, pooling against the red silk patterns in a way that made her smile. Rin was proud of it and, determined not to ruin such a gift from Sesshoumaru, made after her lord with even, measured steps. Her eyes were trained to the ground, scouting out even the smallest mounds of earth that could prove to trip her.

This was the second year she could not count her age by using only the fingers of both hands, and that too, was something she could be proud of. Sesshoumaru couldn't count his age on his fingers, either. And anything about herself she found true with her lord too, made her proud.

Rin shuffled along, half-listening to her empty thoughts, and half to the occasional grunts or groans from both Ah-Uhn and Jaken. Sesshoumaru was always silent, the soles of his boots moving over the grass and dirt with a rhythm she mused was trained to glide with his easy gait. Despite her own efforts to gain such liquid movements, she could only pad along after him.

"What are you doing?" A throaty voice shattered the calm about them, but Rin did not look up at the accusing tone.

"Rin is making sure she does not trip and dirty her kimono," The girl answered after a moment, used to Jaken's disposition.

The toad paused in surprise, before his eyes narrowed doubtfully. It wasn't like Rin to be so careful. "Stupid human."

"Angry toad," she shot back. "Jaken-sama is only jealous!"

Jaken snorted, and Ah-Uhn uttered a grunt that sounded suspiciously like a snicker. Sesshoumaru continued to lead them, offering no input into the conversation carried amongst his wards. "Jealous!" The toad cried. Why the very thought was outrageous!

"Yes." Rin grinned, eyes smiling at the furious imp.

"Why would I be jealous of you?" Jaken demanded. The idea was preposterous. _Really_.

"Because Jaken-sama did not get a gift from Sesshoumaru-sama like Rin did," she answered teasingly, "In fact, Rin has never seen Jaken receive anything but a kick from Sesshoumaru-sama!"

Ah-Uhn shook it's manes, waiting for the toad's retort.

"You insolent human child!" He outraged, waving his staff about angrily. Who did she think she was, making fun of him? Did she not realize who cared for her! "This Jaken has received plenty from his lord!"

A cloud passed over the sun, and Sesshoumaru felt his lips twitch upward.

"What then?" Rin asked snidely.

"Why he's given me the very staff I now hold! The Ninjoutou!"

"That's it?"

"It's a grand and useful gift!" Jaken huffed furiously. "Allowing this Jaken to follow his lordship is enough!"

The girl began to skip in a circle around the imp, his head coming to just beneath the obi about her wait. "_Jeal_ous!" She sang, her voice smiling, "Jealous----!"

"Stop that! Stop that you _insufferable_ human!" He cried, waving his staff. His green skin was taking on a red tint. Ah-Uhn stamped it's foot, shaking it's heads and grunting softly. Rin continued to laugh, picking up her pace and swinging her arms out at either side as she chanted.

"Jealous, jealous, jealo-" Her foot caught the bottom of her kimono. The light voice of her song twisted into a sick a scream that clawed at Sesshoumaru's ears. The earth rose up to meet her with a painful _lurch_. Rin curled in on herself, and lay in a crumbled heap.

Sesshoumaru had turned just quickly enough to see her hit the ground, and to see Jaken immediately fall to his knees beside her. "Rin?" the imp's hoarse voice called out wearily. She did not answer.

The inu youkai stepped closer, the scent of her tears assaulting his senses. The girl rose up on her palms, arms shaking. He cleared his throat, "Rin."

She didn't raise her head. "I am sorry, Sesshoumaru-sama. Rin has ruined it…" Her voice wavered.

"The important thing," he began quietly, "Is that your person remains unharmed."

"Hai, Sesshoumaru-sama." Rin pulled herself to her feet, wiping her eyes so he would not see the tears he'd already known she'd shed. He watched her a moment, eyes narrowing in silent thought, before resuming his easy walk.

Jaken shot Rin a look, and took off. The girl stood still, ignoring the soft nudges of Uhn's head against her back. Bit by bit, she shuffled past the dragon's heads, and clambered onto it's back. The beast waited until she had her balance, and began - at what might be called a canter - in Sesshoumaru's trail.

The air was warm.

:----:

Jaken sighed irritably, watching her sad attempts at writing. Rin was on her stomach, propped up on her elbow with her chin resting against her palm, and a stick in the other. Her face was drawn tight in concentration, straining in the light of dusk to construct her first sentence. So far he wasn't quite sure what it read.

Sesshoumaru had left; busy with what Rin had long ago dubbed "The Errands". She didn't know exactly what those errands were, and Jaken seemed just as puzzled when she bothered to ask him.

Secretly, she daydreamed of him slaying evil to save the innocent, never breathing a word of his great feats to her or Jaken. He was poised, modest, a _hero_. She idolized him for saving her, protecting her, and silently hid away the truths she had come to know he possessed.

Her lord was power-hungry. He was cold, and ruthless. He didn't let anyone or anything stand in his way, and he definitely didn't go out of his way to help someone. She could accept it, knowing somehow she had slipped through and become the exception. He had gone to hell and back for her. And that was all that mattered, really. She was the exception.

"Are you finished?" Jaken bit out impatiently. His bulbous eyes peered around her form, waiting. Rin bit the end of her stick, and rolled on to her back. A minute passed. Two… three…

The girl pulled herself up to sit, and shifted to stare down at her work. "Well…?"

"You enjoy picking flowers," Jaken answered finally, taking a wild stab in the dark. She really needed a lot of work. He swore her fifth character was a tree.

"_No_," Rin sighed, "It was supposed to say, 'Sesshoumaru-sama is the moon'."

He blinked at her. "What is that supposed to mean?"

She closed her eyes in the fading light. Sesshoumaru is always there, untouchable; always stands out and is always beautiful, just like the moon. No matter how high you climb to reach it, it's still a hairsbreadth away, she wanted to say.

Instead the words pressed against her lips. It was obvious in the way Sesshoumaru was the moon, and Rin was amazed how Jaken missed it, yet now she found something personal in the realization that would be betrayed if spoken aloud. Instead, she swallowed the words, and sighed. "Rin does not know."

"Silly girl," Jaken grumbled, taking the stick from her hand. "Now, watch closely. _This_," he began scratching character's in the dirt below her own, "is how to write Sesshoumaru-sama's name."

:----:

Rin pressed herself against Ah-Uhn's hide, and focused on trying to breathe with the same rhythm as the slumbering beast. _Breath, rise… fall… Breathe, rise…fall…_ She watched the sky, willing the clouds away so she could see the stars she knew were there. Restless boredom swelled in her chest. It was almost dawn, and her lord had not returned.

Jaken slept soundly some feet away, occasionally shifting and mumbling incoherently. She remembered asking once what he dreamed about, and the imp had chided her. _"It's none of your business!" _He'd snapped. Rin pulled a face in the dark. She didn't really care anyway.

Slowly, she rose to her feet. The grass was wet with dew, and she smiled to herself. The girl watched the silhouette of trees closely, trying to catch a glimpse of a stray animal in the night. Instead she saw the glint of metal, and blinked at the yellow orbs that had just materialized from the trees. The woods buzzed around her.

Rin decided they looked like fireflies, and she longed to cup them in her palms and bring them close.

"Rin," His voice made her jump.

Of course they had been the eyes of her lord. She blushed at her silliness and was grateful for the dark. "Yes, my lord?"

"You should be asleep." His tone wasn't angry, voice only bored.

Rin looked up at him, straining to see and only managing to make out the outline of his hair and eyes. Sesshoumaru's hand grazed her own, his skin cool against her heat. Her cheeks flamed. "H- hai…"

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**A/n: **So… good, bad, boring, trying too hard? Should I continue? Please review. I love feedback on my sad fic attempts, even if my e-mail sometimes refuses to let me reply. 


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